Fact or Fiction, Paul Hedin Award, Not Really an Award

Forums Conferences Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference Fact or Fiction, Paul Hedin Award, Not Really an Award

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    • #12952

      I’ve got to say, every person who won the Paul Hedin award while I was swimming was kind of okay, but not really someone I’d like to hang out with. Didn’t really bother me, but probably would if I talked to them for more than 10 minutes. Not a follower, but certainly not a leader. Got along with Jon. Was fast. The guy in HS who played sports, but never partied.

      Obviously, there are a few exceptions to the rule, like Chapel Partner. But overall, most of the people given the award are d-bags.

      Agree or disagree?

    • #42882

      Fact.

      I think the award is tantamount to being named “Playmate of the Year” by Hugh Hefner. No matter what, every year Hugh picks the blonde chick with the largest cans, and the moment that girl opens her mouth she becomes exponentially less attractive (female d-bag). For examples of this please refer to Jenny McCarthy and Anna Nicole Smith. They try and present the illusion that the subscribers have some sort of vote, but clearly it’s just the chick Hugh most wants to bone.

    • #42883

      Winning this award, from my perspective, also guarentees that you will do one, if not all of the following.

      1) Move to Blaine
      2) Marry the wrong person
      3) Shave and taper for a master’s meet
      4) Graduate from the worst law school in the upper mid-west, because you cannot outscore a chimp on the lsat, even after being afforded extra time

    • #42884

      I’m going with Fiction, since I have the plaque somewhere in my closet and photo to prove it.

      The award is not listed on GACs website though, so it must not be THAT important.

      I was trying to look up the criteria for the award, but I can’t find it Online. From what I remember, it was supposed to be one of those awards given to the male swimmer that most exemplifies leadership and academic excellence… mostly leadership I think.

      The team votes on it, but I think every other year it is a tie. I doubt there are that many ties, and I’m sure Jon picks two-three guys who either got the most votes, or he likes the most.

      Thinking back to past winners, I would say probably more than half the guys I’ve known deserved it.

      Some past winners were d-bags who basically were not liked by their peers (fellow upper classman) but kissed Jon’s ass, and won over freshman days before the vote like they were running for student council president (“If you vote for me, I’ll make pop a nickel cheaper and build a climbing wall!”). But a lot of guys I thought were actually cool guys/good leaders… I won’t name names so as to not get the thread taken down.

      Just because Jon likes you though, I don’t think that is a bad thing. Most leaders get along with their coach, or at least have an understanding. Jon and I always got along, even when he took me off a relay from time-to-time.

    • #42885

      Unconvincing argument Chapel. Did you go to law school at Hamline? I can think of two specific winners from the late 90’s early 00’s who did not get along with the coach, and provided no tangible leadership qualities. The whole thing is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery. It’s an unmitigated attack on American values, and it will not stand. I’m calling for a full recall of all winners back to 1996, and a recount should be conducted, and supervised by an unaffiliated panel of former swimmers. This award is for communists.

    • #42886

      Your mom goes to Hamline law school.

    • #42887

      Sigh. Listen Chapel, this is US America, and you can love it or leave it. I’ll call Toby Keith and he’ll put a boot in your ass. The continuation of the Paul Hedin award as is, is a complete injustice to the memory, and spirit, of the hero whose name it carries. An award as distinguished as this should be given to the swimmer who most exemplifies the traits Americans look for in a swim team leader. Fast times, points scored, chicks banged, these should be the standards by which we are judged. If they gave the Heisman to the nicest guy every year, Rudy would have won. But instead it goes to the quarterback, the leader of men, the champion of justice, the patron saint of 80’s movie bad guys.

    • #42888

      Unconvincing, Chapel.

    • #42890

      @E-man’s Revenge wrote:

      Sigh. Listen Chapel, this is US America, and you can love it or leave it. I’ll call Toby Keith and he’ll put a boot in your ass. The continuation of the Paul Hedin award as is, is a complete injustice to the memory, and spirit, of the hero whose name it carries. An award as distinguished as this should be given to swimmer who most exemplifies the traits Americans look for in a swim team leader. Fast times, points scored, chicks banged, these should be the standards by which we are judged. If they gave the Heisman to the nicest guy every year, Rudy would have won. But instead it goes to the quarterback, the leader of men, the champion of justice, the patron saint of 80’s movie bad guys.

      Given :

      Mac of the MIAC scored the most points at conference 3 out of 3 years

      Mac of the MIAC was banging the hottest girl in the class of 98, if not all of the greater Mankato metro

      Mac of the MIAC lost the award to someone who married the wrong person, went to Hamline law school, moved to Blaine, can’t count from 1 to 25 backwards, and shaved and tapered for a master’s swim meet

      Prove :

      The Paul Hedin Award is actually an award

      Mac of the MIAC

    • #42889

      Given :
      Mac of the MIAC scored the most points at conference 3 out of 3 years
      Mac of the MIAC was banging the hottest girl in the class of 98, if not all of the greater Mankato metro
      Mac of the MIAC lost the award to someone who married the wrong person, went to Hamline law school, moved to Blaine, can’t count from 1 to 25 backwards, and shaved and tapered for a master’s swim meet

      Prove :
      The Paul Hedin Award is actually an award

      Congratulations, you tasked us with trying to prove the “Fermat’s last theorem” of swimming. While Fermat’s theory was proven, it did take over 400 years. So I’ll take a run at it over the weekend, and post my results here. It may be my opportunity to apply my theory of awesomeness (E-Man’s Awesome Theory), which I’ve been developing over the last 16 months.

    • #42891
      wonderboy33
      Member

      Being that the rest of us are lost, I don’t see any reason why you can’t list the winners of this prestigious award. You don’t have to make specific comments about individual winners but this would give us the opportunity to evaluate the validity of the award. Also, if there was an award for banging chicks and marrying the wrong person, I would definitely have to be top 5.

    • #42892

      Dave Hauck, Jerry Carlson (JC’s dad), Brian Beckman, and Chris Kraemer (I think) are the names that I can come up with for the list.

      Anyone else know who has won in recent years, or the very early years?

    • #42893

      1992 – Jeff Johnson
      1993 – Andy Berg
      1994 – Bryan Ripken
      1995 – Nate Crowe
      1996 – Vince Breza
      1997 – Brian Beckstrom
      1998 – Scott Lempka
      1999 – Casey McGovern, Marshall Lichty
      2000 – James Wetherbee, Joe Majeski
      2001 – Andrew Kestly
      2002 – Nate Liddle
      2003 – Scott Stephens
      2004 – Brian Beckman
      2005 – Will Sutor
      2006 – Andy Tschida

      Now, please don’t post anything negative about the winners, though, I’m certain you could. I’d say Kevin O’Laughlin should have been a runaway in 1999. The same for Courtney Tussing in 1998. Assistant to the Head Coach, Andy Hagen deserved to with the award each year he swam. I mean, come on, who is more dedicated to GAC swimming than Andy Hagen? The winner Andy’s senior year did not even make the conference roster. I don’t know any of the swimmers personally after 2001, though I think Scott Stephens was at my house once.

    • #42894

      You guys (E and Mac) can’t even tell me the criterea for the award. The team gives out an MVP award as well I think (check on that, I’m pretty sure Kevin O’Laughlin won that my senior year).

      I think at the end of the year banquet they give out stuff like MVP, most improved, etc.

      The Paul Hedin award is not the MVP award or Heisman Trophy, and it doesn’t try to be. It is a leadership award. Is the best guy on the team always the best leader? Lots of times the best guy on the team can be a dick.

      Some years I didn’t agree with who won, but I still respect what the award is about. I won’t list people I thought should have won, or why certain people didn’t win (since I’m still friends with a lot of these guys).

      Mac and Revenge, you guys should give out an award for the person who most exemplifies what you look for in a swimmer. Maybe call it the “Bangin Hair Award For Excellence In Achievement.” You could give out some Vidal Sassoon to the winner and put his pic up in the bathroom of The Embassy.

      Note: I don’t think Hauck or Jon’s dad won the award. I think they were older than Paul Hedin (the guy it was named after). I’ll email Jon or assistant to the Head Coach Hagen to see if I can find out more info. I could be wrong.

    • #42895

      @Mac of the MIAC wrote:

      Given :

      Mac of the MIAC scored the most points at conference 3 out of 3 years

      Mac of the MIAC was banging the hottest girl in the class of 98, if not all of the greater Mankato metro

      Mac of the MIAC lost the award to someone who married the wrong person, went to Hamline law school, moved to Blaine, can’t count from 1 to 25 backwards, and shaved and tapered for a master’s swim meet

      Prove :

      The Paul Hedin Award is actually an award

      Mac of the MIAC

      Mac of the MIAC, all I can say is wow. You rip on people who swim masters and shave for masters meets and you bring up an award you did not win that the majority of people do not know or care about. I forgot about the award until you brought it up. I know the majority of the people who won the award and I am going to guess they are not putting it on their resume. Its probably not that important. Let it go.

      And every girl is the hottest girl when you are drunk.

    • #42896

      @Its all an ACT wrote:

      I know the majority of the people who won the award and I am going to guess they are not putting it on their resume.

      I put it on my resume. I also put academic all conference. Both might be seen as meaningless, but made it seem like I tried hard in college.

    • #42897

      It tried to write out a proper proof, but the logic broke down somewhere after the third step. As this is the case, I will attempt to measure the awesomeness of the previous winners using a special theory that I have been working on in my spare time. I like to call the theory, “E-man’s awesome theory,” and it is capable of taking personality characteristics, accompanied by personal achievements, to provide us with a tangible measurement of how awesome each award winner is. The theory is as follows:

      Where:
      n=highest blood alcohol level achieved
      k=number of chicks banged during their senior year (tranny counts double, TGILF is triple).
      p=in five seconds max, the total number of nude pull-ups performed in the locker room at SJU
      q=your best 50FR time as a masters swimmer divided by 10.

      The highest score on the list of winners went to James Wetherbee, with an astounding score of 20.91. The lowest score went to Vince Breza with a score of 0. The mean score was 6.89, the median was 6.38, and the mode was 5.17. E-man’s awesome theory calls for a minimum score of 10.0, in order to be considered awesome, only three people achieved a score in excess of ten, while the remaining 13 did not. Thus, the Paul Hedin award is not an award (at least not for being awesome).

      QED

    • #42898
      wonderboy33
      Member

      Once again, blood alcohol level sends Wetherbee over the edge.

    • #42899

      @E-man’s Revenge wrote:

      It tried to write out a proper proof, but the logic broke down somewhere after the third step. As this is the case, I will attempt to measure the awesomeness of the previous winners using a special theory that I have been working on in my spare time. I like to call the theory, “E-man’s awesome theory,” and it is capable of taking personality characteristics, accompanied by personal achievements, to provide us with a tangible measurement of how awesome each award winner is. The theory is as follows:

      Where:
      n=highest blood alcohol level achieved
      k=number of chicks banged during their senior year (tranny counts double, TGILF is triple).
      p=in five seconds max, the total number of nude pull-ups performed in the locker room at SJU
      q=your best 50FR time as a masters swimmer divided by 10.

      The highest score on the list of winners went to James Wetherbee, with an astounding score of 20.91. The lowest score went to Vince Breza with a score of 0. The mean score was 6.89, the median was 6.38, and the mode was 5.17. E-man’s awesome theory calls for a minimum score of 10.0, in order to be considered awesome, only three people achieved a score in excess of ten, while the remaining 13 did not. Thus, the Paul Hedin award is not an award (at least not for being awesome).

      QED

      This is wonderful. I’m glad that someone, other than our hero, Mac of the MIAC, has spent time to quantify this award, or as you have proven, this disparagement. Since I do not know how to do a factoral on a .08 BAC, could you please post the winners of the award with their E’Man’s Awesomeness score? I’d like to see when, or if, this award has ever went to someone deserving.

    • #42900

      @Its all an ACT wrote:

      Mac of the MIAC, all I can say is wow. You rip on people who swim masters and shave for masters meets and you bring up an award you did not win that the majority of people do not know or care about. I forgot about the award until you brought it up. I know the majority of the people who won the award and I am going to guess they are not putting it on their resume. Its probably not that important. Let it go.

      And every girl is the hottest girl when you are drunk.

      Contradicting oneself is the sincerest form of comedy. Also, do not confuse my above average memory with my concern for a topic, or in this case, lack of concern.

    • #42901

      I think this award is totally legit. If you have 100 people win the award, and 99 don’t desrve it, but you have one like James “the vein: ribbed for her pleasure” Weahterbee win it, the it makes up for the other 99. Its like those teachers who say “if I can reach just one kid…” This award is about getting it into the right persons hands atleast once.

    • #42902

      @E-man’s Revenge wrote:

      At this point my memory is a little bit fuzzy, but isn’t that one of the governing equations of Thermodynamics, or a related field in physics?

      While I generally would not condone the blatant thievery of an equation, it does appear that it fits your data quite well. Could you apply it to another group of people as well to prove that your method is, in fact, valid?

    • #42903

      At this point my memory is a little bit fuzzy, but isn’t that one of the governing equations of Thermodynamics, or a related field in physics?

      While I generally would not condone the blatant thievery of an equation, it does appear that it fits your data quite well. Could you apply it to another group of people as well to prove that your method is, in fact, valid?

      It is not related to physics. It is in fact an excerpt of a binomial equation used for statistical distribution. I figured, in the interest of allegory, and not actually attempting to win a Fields Medal, it would be acceptable to use. In addition, yes, we could apply it to a control group to prove its validity, but deconstructing satire is not nearly as funny.

    • #42904

      Paul Hedin Award info criteria from a high-up GAC source:

      Paul Hedin was a member of the Gustavus Swimming Team from 1949 through
      1952 and was captain of the team his senior year. The qualities that
      made Paul a most valuable member of the Gustavus swim team for four
      years were: he was a ‘team’ man first and always, he had a buoyant sense
      of humor and cheerful attitude in trying situations, a good student, and
      he demonstrated leadership qualities in a variety of campus activities.
      The Paul Hedin Memorial Swimming Award has been given annually since
      1953 to the male swimmer who best fulfills the above qualities. The
      selection is made by a vote of the men’s swimming team, the swim coach
      and faculty committee.

    • #42905
      Duck
      Member

      Ah, sort of like a participation ribbon. How precious.

    • #42906
      CRUNCHYSOCK
      Member

      More like Special Teams Captain.

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