Stern sitting the relays – unless the reason was medical (you never know. Maybe she has diabetes. I am not speculating that she does, I am saying there are hundreds of medical explanations) – is very disappointing. If it was the coach’s decision, she needs to stand up to the coach and tell him that he is being ridiculous. But I highly doubt that this was just a “coaches” decision.
As for swimmers hanging out in the warm-up pool instead of joining teammates, I agree with Willswim; that could be interpreted as selfish. Personally I haven’t seen that before.
Beesknees it seems the crux of your support for Stern is that she “crushed” the competition. That is irrelevant, if anything magnifies the offense. She needed to be on relays.